On Monday afternoon, I developed a serious craving for coconut. Not shredded coconut, mind you, but big hunks of fresh coconut meat. There’s a juice bar around the corner from my office that normally sells it just like this:

With this image of coconuts past burning in my memory, I headed out on a mission. I arrived at the juice bar … and did not see any coconut. I looked up at the lady in the takeout window pleadingly. Hay coco hoy?? No, no hay. Now, it is quite rare that I have a craving and actually set out on a mission to honor it with a purchase. I’m just not into spending money. This was obviously a serious need. I combed the blocks of East Harlem searching for fresh coconut meat with no luck. Finally, in a moment of pure desperation, I caved and bought a whole coconut from the grocery store next door to work:

Clearly, there was nothing I could do with this thing while at work, so I decided to wait out the craving until I got home and could smash the coconut against a cinderblock in the privacy of my home instead of in front of my coworkers, many of whom grew up with coconut trees in their backyards.

Before I left work, Nydia tipped me off that step one would be to use a knife to gouge holes in the “eyes” so that I could drain the coconut water:

So far, so good:

Nature’s best hydrator:

Once the water was drained, I pulled out the biggest knife I could find and went to town:

Things got pretty loud as bits of shells were flying around my kitchen … and the coconut seemed no closer to allowing me entry. My roommate Brigitte came out to inspect. Is everything ok here? I explained to her that I needed coconut and that I was trying, very unsuccessfully, to access the meat inside the shell. Brig suggested that I look up proper coconut cracking procedure. That didn’t seem as fun as my if-i-just-hack-at-it-enough-times-it-will-open approach, but I was desperate and gave in to google.

Apparently, the trick is to hold the coconut in the palm of your hand like so and simply use the back of a knife to tap it all the way around its middle until it just magically splits in two. Suuuuuuuuuuure, this will work.

(As you can see, I had already removed my top layer of clothing as a defensive maneuver in case of accidental explosion.)

Lo and behold, those little taps made the darn thing split in half like it was born to do it!

The next order of business was to remove the shell. I had a vision for this coconut half, so there was going to be no cheating like shredding the coconut directly out of the shell. I found directions that told me to heat the whole, drained coconut for 15 minutes in a 450 degree oven to loosen the shell, so I put the halves back together and did what I was told. It was still pretty snug after the heating, but I decided to proceed with a screwdriver and a hammer:

Things were rough in the beginning and fingers were harmed:

But it was all smooth sailing once I got the first big chunk off:

Throughout this loooong torturous process, a vision of something earth-shattering had been taking shape in my mind.

I pulled a frozen banana out of the freezer — can you see where this is going?? — and blended up some green tea cinnamon banana soft-serve. I served the ice cream in the coconut shell topped with a bit of peanut butter and a hazelnut dark chocolate from Gina:

Earth-shattering indeed!! I would drain, crack, and shell coconuts all day long just for the chance to eat this every night. In fact, maybe that is what I should do. Career change alert!

Eating that ice-cream coated coconut bowl at the end made me sooooooo happy. And that best part is that I still have half the coconut left so that I can repeat 😀

Have you earned any meals recently?

Saturday was an excellent day for multi-tasking. I woke up at 8:30, got ready for hot yoga, opened my front door, took a step, and WAIT! Why is there an eight-foot drop into the basement stairwell where my front stoop used to be?!

I did not take a picture, but it felt a little like stepping off the edge of this:

Apparently, my landlord had decided to replace my pretty brick stoop with an ugly metal stoop, and I happened to walk out in the perfect moment of transition when there was no stoop to be found. Luckily, Santiago (my building maintenance man) was standing nearby and was able to prevent my fall to certain death (which would have been the most embarrassing moment of all because I was wearing my too-short hot yoga shorts and I would have hated to die in those) by quickly inserting a wooden ramp into the situation so I could get down to street level.

When I managed to leave my apartment while simultaneously not breaking my neck, I knew it would be a productive day. I set off to meet Vani and Erin Gunn for hot yoga. After yoga, Erin drove us back down to Brooklyn to join Kate for some CSA action.

This week, we got beets (!!!), zucchini, yellow squash, patty pan squash, green cucumber, white cucumber, peaches (!!!), blueberries, cherries, kohlrabi, eggs, garlic (!!!), and a teeny bit of mesclun. I made us salads with that mesclun and the leftover salad and kohlrabi bits from the week, and then we took off for Hanco’s for the balls and study time (reading time for Erin Gunn!).

This moment represented multi-tasking success story #2 because I worked on my midterm while Erin distracted me and then convinced me that I needed to join her for celebratory drinks and dinner in honor of her fiance finishing his CFP exam. We started at East End, and Erin continued to be a bad influence by insisting that I drink and then buying me more drinks even when I refused. I had three stoli blueberries with seltzer and one sweet-tea-infused vodka (new discovery alert!) with seltzer:

I also made friends with Lincoln when his nachos arrived.

The photography session led to discussion of the blog which led to explanation of the blog title which led to me demonstrating my expansion abilities (think instant 5-month pregnancy … before I had even eaten a bite!) which led to Erin Gunn coming and intervening before I accidentally ate two nacho platters as an appetizer.

Instead, I was deposited into the middle of a mandatory-jager-shot situation.

I do not like jager at all, so I was sneaky and did not actually drink my shot. We left East End eventually, and Mike was so excited for dinner that he was giving high fives to everyone in sight:

We traveled to Germany for dinner.

In reality, we only traveled to 86th and 2nd, but Heidelberg is pretty darn close to Germany.

(Except for the very Irish Harpoon promotion)

We were seated in a basement that was decorated like an outdoor patio.

And somehow managed to actually be outside … sort of. Here’s the view of the sky directly above my head.

I went to the bathroom and came back to find that “we” had ordered the sausage platter for four, a dream come true. Ummmmmmm …

While we waited for the sausage, I enjoyed many slices of super dense dark rye bread:

The boys (Bobby and Mike) ordered larger-than-life beers:

And Bobby enjoyed QT with his boot:

Erin Gunn and Mike acted cute:

Eventually, the meat arrived:

Along with red cabbage and potato salad:

Potato pancakes:

And spaetzle:

I had a potato pancake topped with applesauce and loved it (I don’t know how this was possible, as I loathe potatoes), a bite of each kind of meat for expansion’s sake, and piles and piles and piles of sauerkraut and red cabbage (wayyyyyy more than pictured):

Bobby finished the boot:

And Matty plugged away on his baby boot.

The highlight was the arrival of Andes mints with our check. (Why is it so blurry? The mint was definitely not moving!)

I left soon after for the painstakingly endless commute home and found my new stoop intact, thank goodness!

Who has a bad-in-a-good-way influence on your life?

… to get more bars? Is that how that rhyme went?

Anyway, I was stuck alllllllll day Tuesday and allllllllll day Wednesday in an overly air-conditioned midtown conference room to attend some official training sessions for the early intervention half of my job. As a result, my emergency stash of portable snack bars came into play. I ate this Crunch Awesome Bar (their name — not mine!) from Saturday:

I loved it! It tasted like cashew butter-coconut caramel, and I made it last alllllllll day because I am a miracle-worker.

I also ate this mango-peach Attune bar from another recent event:

It’s supposed to have 5x the probiotic power of yogurt, and it was pretty tasty, though it’s not something I’d ever buy because I just don’t like to spend money on this sort of thing that scarily never goes bad!

Other more natural snacks included coconut from Jessica, tostones from Belkis and Katherine, and maduros from Nydia:

Nuts from Lillian, Beryl’s collard greens, and CSA white cucumber:

I also made some food myself in addition to the salad extravaganza. I tried my hand at some of Gena’s cream of zucchini soup/blended salad, modified based on what I had of course. Judging from this picture, I used most of my CSA bounty: kale, dill, mesclun, zucchini, and yellow squash:

And wasabi peas?

I did not have avocado or a food processor, sadly, so the creaminess had to come from feta cheese, soaked brazil nuts, and my trusty immersion-blender.

The soup made an excellent portable and non-spoiling dinner for my looooong unrefrigerated Tuesday that consisted of 8 hours of training for work, 2 hours of work-to-school commuting, and 3 hours of class. For dipping excitement, I used the piece of seedy bread with dill cream cheese that I saved from Wife and Ted’s lunch on Sunday.

I also got involved in another cooking adventure sometime this week. Remember the kohlrabi from my CSA last week?

I had no idea what to do with this thing aside from steaming it like a hunk of broccoli, but Kate came through and forwarded a recipe for glazed kohlrabi that she received from our CSA people. I modified based on what I had as usual. I melted 3T of butter in a pan and then added the chopped kohlrabi and CSA kale stems:

After a few minutes on high heat, I added 2 cups of water, two cups of chicken broth, and all of the CSA zucchini and squash I had left.

When the broth had reduced to almost nothing, I tossed in some fresh balcony basil and arugula.

The finished dish was delicious! I used it as a salad topper and stretched it across three different salads along these lines:

(With feta, sunflower seeds, and crumbled Morningstar black bean burger)

And finalmente, you know I got involved in some banana soft serve action. Green tea cinnamon-banana soft serve topped with peanut butter:

And on the side, I’ve been working my way through a giant hunk of cake that arrived via Kate because my love of cake has spread far and wide:

Kate attended a bridal shower last weekend. The bride-to-be is a reader and sent Kate back to Brooklyn with a slice of this masterpiece for me!

Thank you, Elisa!! The raspberry filling in between the dark chocolate cake and rich mousse and white chocolate … mmmm, I will be dreaming about this cake for a while 😀

So, I’ll leave you with an item that ties back to the title of this post quite conveniently. Here’s Emily, enthusiastically tearing into her standard class snack, most of which usually makes its way into my stomach:

Yay for Mars! If you could travel to any planet, which would you choose?

ANNNNNNNNND, you must go visit Olivia to enter her Ohlivin! Official Summer Giveaway because she is generously sharing many of her secrets to fabulousness!

Ayayay, this week! Where do I ever start?

I woke up on Monday still stuffed to the gills from Sunday’s BBQ and decided I should find a way to stop feeling like I was hit by a train first thing in the morning. I went for a 5:30 am run around the park (probably the best I’ve had since my injury in March!) and then split this kombucha (free from Saturday’s event) with Wife.

This was my first kombucha, and I was a big fan! Wife liked the flavor so much that she drank it even though it aggravated her burping. My stomach is made of steel, of course, so the kombucha did not affect me in this way. Wife and Ted hit the road later Monday morning, and I hit the subway for my commute to work.

I made some food decisions in accordance with my plan to return to hungry mornings. I experimented with (aka shook up with lots of water) quite a bit of Amazing Grass:

I liked this berry one, but I think I still prefer the straight 100% wheat grass drink I had on Saturday. This one has some random lingering sweetness that I’m not crazy about.

I felt the same way about the chocolate packet I had on Tuesday. I liked the general flavor and even the chalky/sandy texture, but I’m a little confused by the fakish sweet aftertaste.

I also ate lots of fruits and veggies, like green beans from work, grapefruit from Jessica, and anonymous rescued cherries:

And salads!

Salad + bluefish by Inginia:

Fruit salad accompanied by yogurt, peanut butter, and one of the recycled mini-muffins I made last week:

And my own CSA salad which involved loads of mesclun, frisee, cucumber, wasabi peas left behind by Wife and Ted, and the star ingredient: Cole’s applewood smoke petite rainbow trout:

CSA salad topped with thawed and sauteed remainders (including smoked salmon, bean and corn salad, barley, and flounder) from last week’s windfall:

And Deborah’s leftover salad:

Now, lest you think all I do is eat wheatgrass and salad (though, how you could possibly think that, I have no idea), my week was not all about greens greens greens and being a paragon of produce virtue. Belkis did, in fact, refill her candy jar with pillow mints and big bols:

And Deborah gave me a coconut peach jelly:

And Nydia gave me a piece of gooey just-baked red velvet cupcake from the bakery:

Zoom on gooey center:

Oh yeah, that same day, a former client brought the very pregnant Maria two tres leches cakes — one chocolate (!!!!!!) and one regular — in honor of her VERY advanced pregnancy. I came back from spending two+ tense hours at the Medicaid office with a mom to this sight on the conference room table:

And this sight on my desk courtesy of Deborah:

And this sight underneath that sight:

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I ate all of those pieces at work and then ended up taking most of the white tres leches home with me at Maria’s request because she knew she could trust that I would keep it from going bad! It’s chilling in my freezer now 😀

I ate many other things this week, but I think that report should suffice for now! Each post can only handle so many greens and so many pieces of cake. I will be back pronto with chapter two!

On a scale of 1-17, how would you rate your ability to balance your astronomic produce intake with less celebrated dietary necessities such as cake?

It’s Restaurant Two Weeks in the city, so you know that the restaurant week brigade had to take advantage! On Monday night, Gina, Kate, and I made our way to E. 63rd for some high class Park Avenue Summer. I left work around 5:15 and walked the 50+ blocks down to the restaurant, arriving just as the girls were being led to our table.

I ate here a couple years ago with some visiting family when it was just Park Avenue Cafe, but the restaurant has since undergone a major reinvention, as it changes the menu and the decor to match each season. Since we’re obviously in summer (finally!), the decor was bright and sunny.

Despite the yellow flowers, the lighting was actually too dim and the air conditioner too strong for my liking. If it’s going to be summer, I want natural light and natural heat! Maybe a few ocean waves thrown in there, too.

The food, however, was definitely up to par!

I went to the bathroom after we ordered and came back to find that the ladies had begun the photography without me because our amuse bouche, as they say, had arrived.

These are watermelon cubes topped with lavender yogurt — such an unexpected and refreshing treat. (Though, they would have been more refreshing if I hadn’t been freezing!)

Along with the watermelon, we also received this charming bread basket 🙂

I did some knife olympics so that we could have equal amounts: 1/3 each of the warm cheddar & spicy pepper biscuit, and 2/3 each of the polenta and fresh corn rolls.

These were sooooo good, especially with the butter and coarse sea salt that came with them.

Now, in case you’ve forgotten or are not aware of how Restaurant Week works, restaurants that are normally much pricier agree to participate by offering a fixed-price 3-course dinner (appetizer, entree, dessert) for $35 (though we get it for $23 during Brooklyn’s restaurant week because Brooklyn is better :-P).

Kate began with the salmon tartare with tomatoes and basil:

The salmon was served over a thin layer of cream cheese — I tried a bite on top of a crostini piece. I was a fan! How could I not be?

Gina ordered the caprese ravioli with yellow tomato coulis. You know I loved that arugula on top!

This one tasted just like penne a la vodka, a flavor that never fails.

I ordered the butter and sugar corn soup with tomatoes and tomatillos.

This was also a definite summer winner. The corn tasted fresh enough to have come from MNT’s roof 😛

For her main meal, Kate ordered the filet mignon with grilled corn on the cob and watermelon BBQ sauce (YES, watermelon BBQ sauce!):

This restaurant seems to do no wrong in terms of food!

Gina ordered the seared salmon with crispy taro and cucumber salad:

It came with a slightly fiery avocado sauce which I also loved because avocado makes everything better.

I ordered the lobster salad with avocado and citrus vinaigrette. I was expecting a few little pieces of lobster on top of lettuce, so I nearly fell out of my chair when this arrived:

So much rich, juicy lobster meat over a thick layer of avocado perfection:

Seriously, this was one of my all-time favorite meals and well-worth the extra $10 I had to pay for it! (Some of the fixed price dishes came with a $10 additional fee because they are normally much more expensive than the others.)

Conveniently, the restaurant week menu had three desserts. Obviously, we ordered one of each, starting with the peach panna cotta with basil foam and lemon cakes:

The basil flavor was very strong, and I loved how it combined with the peach! Plus, aren’t these layers gorgeous?

Dessert #2 was goat cheese mousse in phyllo with honeyed raspberries:

This one was Gina and Kate’s favorite of the three (and my second favorite). The goat cheese had just enough sweetness to make it a fitting dessert component, and it made me want to try the Dessert Truck’s goat cheesecake even more. And the presentation was clearly another work of art:

My favorite dessert of the bunch was sadly the least photogenic: chilled banana parfait with chocolate crumbs and butterscotch puree:

The chocolate crumbs combined with the caramelized banana and the butterscotch seriously left me swooning. The crumbs provided excellent crunch:

I did some utensil olympics to make sure we each got equal amounts:

As you can tell, utensil olympics is a precise science, and I have been honing my skills in the field for many years:

My own personal dessert sampler:

Everything was faaaaaabulous, so you MUST go to Park Avenue Summer before restaurant week is over, even if it means you need to make a trip to NYC specifically for this purpose!

Have you ever made a trip solely to take part in a specific dining experience?