Again?

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Sarah. For a whole year, no matter where she went, cake followed her. Cake did not seem to care that she had to fit into a very expensive bridesmaid dress, nor did cake care that she had a family history of diabetes. Cake only cared that Sarah ate it. So she did.

On August 30, Gina and Chris celebrated their first wedding anniversary.

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They knew that the entire top tier of their wedding cake had been waiting in the freezer for a year, and they also knew that they could not possibly conquer the entire tier between the two of them.

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Gina and Chris put their heads together and came up with a plan.

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The plan involved calling in reinforcements.

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Kate and I heard the urgency and desperation in our friends’ voices and responded immediately to the call of duty.

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Before we could dig into the cake, however, Gina had to strengthen our stomachs with a hefty dose of sodium in the form of her baked ziti:

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With that, we were ready to get down to the matter at hand.

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We held Gina and Chris at camera-point and forced them to re-enact their very first slices of cake together as husband and wife. Things got messy.

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Chris had a slightly violent reaction to the year-old cake:

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Gina fared better:

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And then Kate and I went in for the kill. Here’s my plate:

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I beefed it up with a mini-sliver of chocolate cake from The Chocolate Room that Chris had bought the day before:

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And I also left Gina’s with a baggie full of frozen birthday cake that Chris’ sister had made for Gina few weeks earlier:

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It was delicious when I got around to eating it a few days later, but I wish I had seen it live because it looks like such a wonder in the pictures:

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A few other cakes have also invaded my life as of late, though I doubt anyone is surprised. Sister Pat brought treats to work from an East Village bakery to celebrate three years with the agency:

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I had a little sliver of napoleon and a bite of carrot cake:

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And Belkis made a cake with her son Emanuel and brought it to the office for Emanuel and other kids of my coworkers to decorate:

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I had a small sliver … and then another small sliver 😛

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I always say it — there’s something about boxed cake mix and canned frosting that is SO addictive! Mmmmmmmmm.

But now I must switch gears and take a break from all the cake! Dear cake: I appreciate your persistence, but you really must stay out of my way now, at least until I get through these fall weddings. I think Erin Gunn will literally kill me if I don’t fit into my bridesmaid dress. And I want to live. Please? Thanks. Love, Sarah

Horrifying dress-too-small stories, anyone??

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6 thoughts on “Again?

  1. letterstomybody says:

    Mmmm…cake.

    Well, I don’t have my own ‘dress too small’ story, but I can share one of my sister’s…

    For my wedding (RIP first marriage), my sister was my maid of honor. She was not pregnant when we picked out the dresses, but she was trying. She is a solid size 6 in normal life, so she ordered the dress in a size 12, fully assuming that she would fit into it–even if she was 6.5 months pregnant at the actual wedding.

    Sista got pregnant. Sista gained 35-40 pounds. Sista did not fit into her cute little periwinkle A-line dress with a plaid bodice.

    The week before my wedding, my handy mother literally had to take the entire dress apart and invert the skirt. She turned the A-line dress into a V-line dress, and then my poor sister resembled a barrel.

    She changed into a more comfortable number immediately following the ceremony. Poor thing.

    Like

  2. Gina says:

    Looking back at my junior prom pictures me dress was WAY TOO SMALL!! It’s embarasing. But never a wedding 🙂 Knock on wood!

    This post was so great. Like you, I LOVE LOVE LOVE cake. In fact, I was at a party yesterday and I was the first to go into the room when they yelled “time for cake!!”. I got the second piece, and downed it in about a minute (I’d been waiting for a while).
    Chris and Gina are a cute couple, and I love that they called you up for reinforcements!

    Like

  3. Diana (Soap & Chocolate) says:

    Oh cake, bane and love of my life. I think you’ll make it through the wedding season without cake making your dress any tighter (except for AT weddings, that is)–I have faith in you. And if you begin to falter, perhaps put the cake inspired flavors in a batch of oats. I have carrot cake oats in the crockpot right now. No actual cake in my foreseeable future!

    Like

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